What's different about raising children in a 2-Mommy home?



Seemingly everything. But really nothing. That's what I say to my straight friends. While there are definitely more hurdles to jump than in a straight family, I find that at the end of the day we're all laying our kids down, kissing them goodnight, and wondering how it's possible to love something so completely. I could go on and on about the legal, emotional, social, economic and racial hurdles facing families like ours but I'm more of an optimist so I'll focus on the outcome: amazing, well-adjusted, intelligent and beautiful children. 



Don't believe me? Check out this research study completed last November.



Adolescents with Lesbian Mothers Describe Their Own Lives

http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/parenting/adolescents-with-lesbian-mothers-describe-their-own-lives/



Teens with lesbian mothers are academically successful and happy with their lives. The 17-year-olds participating in the longest-running study of lesbian families had high school GPAs in the A- to B+ range, and nearly all planned to attend four-year colleges. These adolescents had strong family bonds, and they were nearly unanimous in describing their mothers as good role models. They also reported having numerous close friends—generally with same-age peers who were predominantly heterosexual. Most of the teens felt comfortable bringing friends home, informing friends about their mothers’ lesbianism and confiding in their mothers.



The teenagers were asked a series of questions about their everyday life experiences including academics, extracurricular activities, aspirations, friendships, family interactions, role models, health problems and wellbeing.   Notably, almost all of the 78 adolescents described their mothers as good role models. Prior studies on the same group of teenagers found that they demonstrated more competencies and fewer behavioral problems than an age-matched normative sample of American youth; although some adolescents with lesbian mothers had experienced homophobic stigmatization, family closeness helped counteract its negative effects.



The 78 adolescents in the current report were drawn from families that are participating in the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), the longest-running and largest prospective investigation of lesbian mothers and their children in the United States. Initiated by Dr. Gartrell in 1986, the NLLFS examines the social, psychological and emotional development of the children as well as the dynamics of planned lesbian families.



The current study  appears in the current issue of the Journal of Homosexuality.

Click here for the full report.

Click here for the press release.

For more information about the NLLFS, visit www.nllfs.org





What are my rights as a non- bio Mom?



This is such a complex question because every state's laws are different and there is no federal protection law for children of same sex partners. For example, here in MA we have the right to marry and parent our children together in mostly the same fashion as a straight couple. However, in order to ensure custody of our daughter would go to my partner if something were to happen to me we needed to go through the process of a second parent adoption. This sort of adoption, sometimes referred to as a step parent adoption, ensures that both of us have equal rights pertaining to our child. It is vitally important to secure the rights of the non bio mom. You never know what could happen and there is no way of knowing how the courts will rule against you if you have not taken the steps necessary to protect your family. Having custody of your child awarded to a random family member instead of your partner, (in the event of your death or serious illness), is a very real possibility. 

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For more info on second parent adoptions visit: https://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/adoptive/second_parent.cfm



For more info on legal rights for lesbian mothers visit: 

http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=issue_families

http://www.we2haveparentalrights.com/

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/gay-lesbian-adoption-parenting-29790.html









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Ask Anything! Email us @ LesMommies@gmail.com to submit a question/answer.